I insist that there is a way to love a man as desperately as he has without offending the Ideals.

I insist that I could love and deify him even and if only in my sleep by letting him pass through me untouched. Unkissed. Unending.

I could feign that. 

Today was one of the better days. I fed. I slept. I knew I could do this a while longer. I could hold my stomach a day more.

I could feign until repetition replaces what’s true. Let them announce it, if they must, whom I have wronged while trying to keep the Ideals right.

Whatever it takes to swallow a god.

When I could have screwed the Ideals.

When I should have loved him as sinful simple mortals do.

I indulge in the superstition that copying in longhandwriting another writer’s work could touch me with that writer’s craft. 

Sometimes the trick works; I can hear his fairies and my pen yields to their liquid fluency in prose. Other times, the trick fails colloquially, and I would be grateful that they flunked in private.

And sometimes, he hears mine instead. For, among those fussy fairies, all is fair in syllables and whispers. Rather than obliging me, my fairies would be the ones he amuses and stacks - for all lust and shame, in stanzas.

Hence, whether begrudgingly or delighted - the man has served my fairies quite well - I echo as dull as the poem that failed to stir even a yawn, in copy. 

Patiently copied and photographed Arabi© poems & tweets by E. Zaher

Marriage, you see, is law and love is an instinct which impels us, sometimes along a straight, and sometimes along a devious path. The world has made laws to combat our instincts - it was necessary to make them; but our instincts are always stronger, and we ought not to resist them too much, because they come from God; while laws come from men. 

- Guy de Maupassant

“…and pray for rain under your roof. “
- EZ

So much life and personality. So much to remember and sort through.

Room from Heaven by ~spaceron

Social Media Anonymity vs. Privacy

Photos by Sebastianude: Hidden by Choice, Taking the Mask Off and Keeping My Identity

This Hadith…

No sooner do the people of paradise have sexual intercourse with their wives, then the wives return virgin again. [Reported by Tabarani]

…Reminded me of Jessica.

fyjessicahamby:

Hoyt: Is that blood again…?
Jessica: Oh my God. No. No no no no no no no!
Hoyt: What, Jessica. What?
Jessica: It grew back!
Hoyt: It? What?
Jessica: My… It fucking grew back!
Hoyt: Ahh. Geez, I —
Jessica: I should have known! I mean everything heals when you’re a goddamn vampire!
Hoyt: Ok. Come on. It’s gonna be beautiful. Every time will be like our first time.
Jessica: It’ll hurt like hell! I’m a fucking deformity of nature. I’m gonna be a virgin forever.

I have a friend I refer to as Bunny. Yeah, this is for her.

fuckyeahdragonballzyaoi:

The sexiest bunny ever~

(GokuxVegeta request for kore-chan )

The ancient ones have always reminded us not to love too much lest our love dies and fills us with despair. And not to hate too much, lest there be something funky that will twist your life and force you to live with the very thing you hate. 

I wonder if Atheists have this kind of doubt: When something proves to them beyond reasonable doubt that THERE IS GOD right there in all His glory looking down at his smallness and breaking that almighty grin: “What now, child?”

I wonder if one day there would come a moment when I would be put face to face with a virus and nothing in my powers could make me stop it from multiplying spreading. And that virus would be wiggling at me its disgusting jiggle, “What now, madam? Which part would you like to massage?”

I wonder if the richest man on earth one day discovered that a dime given in charity really does bounce back in multitudes, if the saddest shop believes in itself to be a precious antique collection in the making, if I could hold you long enough in the quiet darkness and show you that we aren’t alone and that demons and UFOs and fairies really do exist under the bed.

“Then what?”

I wonder, dammit, if in that moment when everything we ever disbelieved in just proved itself beyond probable doubt and we are at loss of selves and words and feelings.

I wonder if you’ve been here and would allow me this few days to gather myself (ah, that fluid, constantly changing-in-denial self), merely to answer this one remaining question:

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

Schism by `x-horizon

Ladies,

I’m the woman who wakes up the Sun god Apollo and drag him from his fiery hair out of his golden bed, kicking and crying and cursing by Hades or by Zeus, if you please. 

*cracking knuckles*

saudimajix:

not the girl I know, she makes sure the sun light up the world

etharzaherl:

صحيت الشمس قبلك

Once, I lost my faith and it shattered me.

“I’ve done this ever since, because for the longest time it was the only way I could feel unbroken.” - Dexter

And then something died in me. And none of this made any sense anymore. And I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to be whole again in the silence.